Wednesday, July 18, 2012


“Then something Tookish woke up inside him, and he wished to go and see the great mountains, and hear the pine-trees and the waterfalls, and explore the caves, and wear a sword instead of a walking stick.”
--J.R.R. Tolkien

Lately I am really missing China. Lately I am feeling a bit blue. A bit stuck. Like I'm kind of alone. And that since I'm feeling kind of alone I'd like to skip town and have an adventure. Not to be whiny (but a little bit), I am quite happy being single and there is no one that I am interested in or vice versa, but sometimes feeling detached is hard. I'm not committed to anyone, and no one is committed to me. And since I am completely unattached and likely to stay so for some time, I feel that I want to travel again. I mean, if I am going to be detached when I graduate I might as well be detached in another country as well as here in the USA. Right? And ceramics makes sense in other countries. I already get the "what are you going to do with that?" questions when I tell people I am studying ceramics. In other places it is a trade. It isn't such an impractical, crazy, even irresponsible choice in those places. China meant a lot to me. So much. It was one of the hardest experiences of my life. It made me practice being the kind of person I truly want to be. It opened my eyes to a different way of life. And different culture. I have rarely felt God's presence as strongly as I did when I was in China. It was very hard, but also an amazing part of my life. Just when I think I'm over it I start to miss it a lot and get a bit emotional thinking about it. I am considering looking into teaching abroad positions once I finish school. Hopefully in Asian countries. South Korea seems to have a lot to offer, but China would be great too. I loved learning Chinese so much and I think I could get placed in a pottery town so I could teach English, pay off some loans, and be immersed in a culture I learned to appreciate and perhaps get to know a language and continue working in clay. If I did that for a year and paid off some loans I would be in a better position to come home and set up a studio. Win, win, win, win, win. It just has the potential to be very very very lonely. It is something to pray about and research. Till then, here are some photos of places that hold many special memories for me.

 Chen Lu
 Overlooking Chen Lu with friends.
San Qing mountains
 Jingdezhen...the town with the ceramic light posts. This is one of my favorite photos from there.

 The dorms. Where the water was turned off at 10:30 pm, the hallway lights usually wouldn't come on and feral cats fought in the hallways at night.
The studio. Well, the gate to the studio anyway.
 Street markets...
 Big pots...
 Amazing craftsmen....

Another thing I miss about being in China...I felt that I was being mentally stimulated all the time. Facebook and other websites didn't work, so almost all my interactions were face-to-face and I was surrounded by new sights, languages, and situations. It was so very different from anything I was used to. I remember coming home and being annoyed by cell phones and facebook. I miss that feeling of something new every day.
It is now 2 am and I feel that much of this nostalgia and anxiety of the unknown future is related to tiredness on my part. So I suppose I will end here. Good night! 

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