Thursday, November 28, 2013

Happy Thanksgiving

nut shells that look like hearts
Two years ago I was still in school. Right before Thanksgiving I stayed in town a couple of days before traveling to visit my family. That weekend I went to a little get-together at church to make decorations for the church and to a goodbye dinner for a visiting professor from China. I remember writing that my heart felt so full that weekend. I was so thankful. I loved where I was at, I loved who I was with, and I felt at home.

These past 6 months of graduation, moving, changes have been really hard and at times very painful. Everything is still uncertain, but today, on Thanksgiving, I have a little bit of that full-hearted feeling again. It's not the same exuberant-I'm-going-to-burst-I-feel-so-happy feeling. It's quieter, and more content. No matter where I am or what's going on, God has taken great care of me and given me so much and is teaching me so much. I feel more peace that whatever the future holds, at this present moment I am right where I need to be.

Some things I am grateful for today (in no particular order):
Being finished with school
My new bed (which I never want to leave)
My job
Friends, old and new; near and far
The ability to work with my hands
Having hope

That last sounds cheesy and pun-like, but I truly would be lost without my faith. I've come to realize recently that I lean so heavily on Jesus. Trusting that He is good and righteous and in control. Not that I'm some amazing Christian, far from it. I take such comfort in feeling secure with my savior. I don't know how those who don't believe in God handle stress and fear. I just don't know how I would have made it through these past few months without knowing that God is with me. I struggle in my walk with Christ, but I'm so grateful that He loves me and is in my life.

Light from the Window


A former classmate posted a photo on facebook of herself drinking from a mug made by another of our classmates, Thom. One of our other classmates posted a photo of herself drinking from a mug made by him too. So I jumped in on the party too with my mug made by Thom. I love owning pots by my classmates and friends. It's like having a little part of them. Cheers, friend.

Instagram photos

Last night of The Gathering
Found: the cutest stickers.

More cute stickers
Reliable companion.
Some little photos from the past few weeks.
It's become very cold here recently. And it has begun to snow a lot. I'm so grateful that my car has thus far been very reliable and seems to do really well in the snow. I'm also grateful for the fact that the cold has made me feel like hibernating. I've wanted to be home more and am enjoying it. Last weekend I spent an afternoon in bed knitting and watching Anne of Avonlea. I don't know when I've felt so luxurious. It was so restful and refreshing (plus Anne is so optimistic, how can one not feel cheerful after watching those movies?). I know I need to start buckling down and being productive, but after 4 years of being so busy and constantly tired it was just lovely to take an afternoon and be so rested and know that there were no assignments to work on, no deadlines coming up, no reason to feel guilty for not being at school or eating/sleeping/breathing ceramics.


Sunday, November 17, 2013

Scenes from the weekend.

Little peeks at one of the most restful and pleasant weekends I've had in a long time.

I want to walk with You.

Let me walk with you when it's sunny...
Let me walk with you when it storms...
Walk with me through the valleys...
Call to me to walk with you on the water...
Let me walk with you when it's dark...
Light my path with Your word...
Let me walk at a leisurely stroll; taking it all in...
Let me walk briskly, with a purpose and intent...
Just let me walk with You
Hand in hand...
Directing my steps...
Keeping me upright.

Psalm 37:23-24 NLT
The Lord directs the steps of the godly. He delights in every detail of their lives. Though they stumble, they will never fall, for the Lord holds them by the hand.

It was a dark, stormy night...

We got a pretty good storm here today. The non-winter weather here is pretty mild...we don't get hurricanes, and tornadoes are rare, and most of the storms we got over the summer were at night and pretty quiet for thunderstorms. The thunderstorms back east could seem very violent sometimes. I took a nap today while it was raining and it was actually very peaceful. It was nice.

At age 25.

Like most girls, I'm a little camera shy. I'm not very photogenic and I have my fair share of insecurities too. But I've been thinking lately that I want to document how I look now. I like seeing photos of my mom when she was around my age. I think I look like her in some ways. It's fun to see resemblances. I hope someday I'll have kids of my own and I'd like to have some memory of how I looked at this time to see if they resemble me too at this same age.

On another note, I have extreme bed head in this photo. I've had a love-hate relationship with my hair for a long time. It will never be elegant, obedient, or stylish. It doesn't curl consistently all over my head and sometimes if the weather is right it defies gravity. It has always seemed unmanageable to me and I don't wear it down often because it gets so gnarly. Somehow, I like my hair best when I first get up. I usually wash it at night so the next day it usually is a little crazy. But I like it best that way. Because it's being what it wants to's natural and messy and authentic. It feels like me when it's like that. And it's also usually socially unacceptable to wear it out the door that way. But every once in a while I get up and look at it and think, "I don't think it's going to get much neater than this" and I let it be.

Sunday, November 3, 2013


My heart is so full...
Yet words won't come.
My words could not translate
The feelings I have right now anyway.
I remember how you say
That your Spirit intercedes for us
Praying for me when I can't.
Jesus, I'm so grateful for this.
I'm so thankful for your patience.
For your mercies and love.
God, at this time
I pray, renew my mind.
Teach me to worship You.
Forgive my irreverence.
I feel very broken.
There truly is nothing good in me
Aside from You.
Lord, let me crumble away.
Rebuild me with your love, truth, holiness.
So that when others see me
They see You.

Identifying with these lyrics right now.

I am breaking, you are building
I am empty, you are filling
In my silence, you are speaking
In my dying, ever living

--Zach Pedigo

Saturday, November 2, 2013

Quarter of a century.

 Yesterday I turned 25. I had coffee, thai food and birthday cake, went to work and held babies all afternoon, and hung out with family and watched School of Rock. I don't know why I love that movie so's so dumb, but Jack Black's faces...never fail to crack me up.

Also, I started a new job this week and ended my old job today...and I am so happy for the change.

I should do a *25 things to do before I turn 26* list. Maybe I'll do something else like a *10 things to do before I turn 30* list instead.