Feelings for Fall

Dear Fall,

I don't know what it is about you. How is it that when you roll around I feel that there are new beginnings, possibilities, and opportunities everywhere all the while you are busy quietly putting the world to sleep before winter comes? There is something about your feeling, your scent, your color that has me dreaming of all things domestic and homey. I want to wrap up in sweaters and scarves and make warm things...you are like a hug in that way. You stimulate my senses so wonderfully with your sights, smells, and feelings. You are so complex in your warm colors and cool weather; your lively breezes with swirling leaves and your quiet act of putting nature to sleep. You make such a show of the way you slowly disintegrate into winter. You are a reminder to me to take all things as they come...beauty, aging, loss of beauty, darker days, and lonely chilling temperatures...and accept it, acknowledge its beauty at every stage and let it go. In that way you do prepare us for new beginnings...new possibilities...new opportunities. It's learning to appreciate while simultaneously letting go.

I'm glad you are back.
Love,
Gracie

Look!

 Fall is coming!!!

Pumpkin cake donuts.

If I hadn't gone to Target and happened to see this fancy cake maker on half off clearance...I may never have known that I NEEDED to buy it and make fallish pumpkin cakes. Pretty food is so fun.

Studio days...

Today I got to the studio at 9 am and didn't leave till after 11 pm. I've been pulling a similar schedule most days of the week for the past week. Let me tell you, I'm so worn out! I'm so happy it's Friday! Hurray! I don't typically document my day-to-day at the studio, but I took a few photos today to share and remember here. Last autumn semester...perhaps ever!

Beautiful leaves!

A flying "pigasus" piggy bank for my friend Mandy. She made the unicorn horn for it. It's pretty silly.

We noticed that Sarah and Mandy were definitely coordinating without meaning to today. While in China one day both of my studiomates and I showed up wearing purple...I think when we spend enough time together we all slowly morph into one person. I like the red-orange and grey colors together though.

I am finally catching up to my "prepare for the formal critique" schedule that I imposed upon myself. Now that I'm in serious decorate mode I just can't wait to be done with these pots so I can make something else. I have other ideas that I'm feeling a bit eager to try. I'm mostly eager for this crit to be over so I can take a nice long nap. But once that's over I'm going back into making work mode so I can work on some of these ideas. But I'm hoping these tumblers turn out well. I've never made tumblers and these actually feel nice in my hand while I hold them.

I got an email from a friend today saying "I hope you're not working too hard and are making great pots." Well, I'm definitely feeling a bit ragged, and I really hope all the long days and hard work pay off in the form of great pots. But yeah, lately I feel like all I do is work. Probably because that is all I do. Oh well. I guess I should enjoy it while it lasts.

Decorating.

It sounds funny, but while I like to plan the surface decoration for my pots, the actual decorating is one of my least favorite parts of ceramics. Today I made a bunch of test tiles and glazes tests to start working out my colors for the glazes. I can pull them out of the kiln tomorrow. I have fun colors...like bright yellow and orchid and dove grey.

Platter...with inset underglaze and then silk-screened flowers in slip.

Little flasks and another platter.

I had a meeting with my teacher to make sure I was on track to graduate in May and I am. So unless I mess up terribly I should *finally* have a BFA this spring. He also told me I should apply to some grad schools to see if I get in. He said he thought my work was ready. I almost fell apart crying in his office. I've been so frustrated with my work lately and have felt like quite a failure. Like no matter how hard I work I never get better and will never be a good artist. Art is really rough on your self-esteem. So to have him say something that made me feel like I'm making progress was relieving, but also just enough to push me over the edge. Let us just say that my emotions in the past 6 weeks since school started have been unraveling at quite a rapid rate and I'm beyond ready for a break already. I've said several times in the past week or so "I should have gone to nursing school!" Because now that I'm nearing the end and have to figure out what I'm going to do with myself things are really stressing me out. I'm still grateful I went to art school. I don't want to be a nurse. Would that make more money for me? Yes. Probably. But I wouldn't have had the experience I have had these past 3 years. My whole life would be so different. Also, I really do like working with my hands and I like the way art lets you combine hands-on technique with conceptual ideas.

It's hard to have confidence sometimes. Mine has been shaken. I'm excited to graduate, but I'm stressed out about it too. It's going to be an upheaval. That is never smooth. I'm just trying to remember the verse:
Psalm 37:23-24

"The Lord directs the steps of the godly. He delights in every detail of their lives. Though they stumble, they will never fall for the Lord holds them by the hand."

Things are rough...it's not time to doubt all my decisions or lose faith in God's guiding. I sort of begged Him for art school...and He was gracious enough to give it to me. And He has blessed me throughout it. So now I have to trust that He will do what He wants with it as I graduate and go on to the next thing.

Happy New Year...

It's September 23, 2012! A whole year has passed since September 23, 2011. What significance does this date hold? None for me really, except that the only difference between January 1st and any other day of the year is that January 1st is the one we Americans acknowledge as the beginning of a new year. But when the world was made it's not like we were operating on this calendar so any day marks the beginning of a new time period. A new chance. A reason to celebrate. A reason to make resolutions.

In honor of this new year I am resolving to do...better. To be hopeful. To be positive. To learn to say "no" when I need to. This life is weighing me down so much lately, but I was reminded in church today that Christ said, "my burden is easy, my yoke is light." A few years ago another friend said that Christ doesn't empty us; He fills us up. I'm going to try to focus more on the positive things in my life right now and look hopefully toward the future.

So Happy New Year, everyone.

Book lust...

My studio mate brought this AMAZING book back from the library this week. I'm in love. Gorgeous photos, beautiful work from artists and artisans all over the globe. Truly an inspiring book and one I plan to add to my collection of books someday soon!