Swimming hole

 Friends.

This past weekend I went to a nearby swimming hole with some friends. It was beautiful. The road was quite treacherous, which was sort of exciting (since I wasn't driving). Parts of the swimming hole were crowded, but we managed to find a pretty spot that was much less crowded. I got to meet new friends and visit with old ones.

Some people were crazy and jumped off the bridge into the water below. It's about an 80 foot drop. Fortunately, no one in our little group did that. Although some jumped off a little cliff to the water. It made me nervous watching them. Fortunately we all survived the day with little to no injuries.

Tired.

Tired of being told to expect the worst.

Tired of being told happiness = the amount of money you make.
Tired of hearing, "You'll never be able to...."

Tired of worrying what others think of me.

Tired of trying to live up to expectations.
Tired of trying to please others. 

Tired of being told, "well, you're young, when you're my age you'll know what I'm talking about."

Tired of mine and others' complaining.

Tired of attitudes of entitlement. 

Tired of fighting the same battles every day.

Can someone please tell me:

"Consider it joy when you experience trials of many kinds." James 1:2

"Do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth where moth and rust destroy, and where thieves break in and steal." Matthew 6:19 
Also
"Why do you worry about clothes? See how the flowers of the field grow. They do not labor or spin. If that is how God  clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will he not much more clothe you, you of little faith?" Matthew 6:28, 30

"I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me." Phil 4:13

"Blessed are you when people hate you, when they exclude you and insult you and reject your name as evil because of the Son of Man. Rejoice in that day and leap for joy, because great is your reward in heaven. For that is how their fathers treated the prophets" Luke 6:22

"Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding, in all things submit to Him and He will make your paths straight." Prov. 3:5-6
Also
"My soul, wait in silence for God only, for my hope is from Him." Psalm 62:5

"If I were still trying to please men, I would not be a follower of Christ." Gal 1:10

"Don't let others look down on you because you are young, but set an example for all the believers in faith, in life, in love and in purity." 1 Timothy 4:12

"Do everything without complaining or arguing, so that you may become blameless and pure, children of God without fault in a crooked and depraved generation, in which you shine like stars in the universe." Phil 2:12-15

"For whoever wants to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for me will find it. " Matt 16:25
Also
"But God demonstrates His love for us in this: While we were still sinners Christ died for us." Romans 5:8

"It is for freedom that Christ has set us free." Gal 5:1

Art Festival by the River...

I was hoping to see old friends and teachers doing demos, but I went on the wrong day it seems. Instead I heard some terrible live band perform and saw some kids get arrested for drug use.

So I left and went to a frozen yogurt shop. And the evening was saved!

An evening at Barnes and Noble.

 (emily dickinson)

Summer.

Warm days; cool nights. Dinners with friends. Game nights. Yoga. Swing dancing. Frozen yogurt. Sleeping in. Kids' movies. Beautiful sunsets. Workout playlists (have to burn off that frozen yogurt). Visits with friends. Late night chats with the roommates. NO HOMEWORK!!! Trips to see family. Part-time job. Exploring town. Summer festivities. Fireflies. Thunderstorms. Naps. Pen pals. Pinterest addiction. Reading. Playing outside. Relaxing.


Summer. You're turning me into a romantic. I love you. Never leave me.

Dear Jesus,
Thank you for sunsets, for fireflies and for stars. Thank you for summer. You're so romantic. Watching this part of the earth put on nighttime was the highlight of my day. I never could have thought up such a beautiful way to end every day. Thank you for making that. Thank you for letting me enjoy it with you.
Love,
Gracie

Sitting outside in the cool of the evening
I see a young deer watching the same performance that I see.
That is, the fireflies in the wooded area all twinkling and dancing
To the music of the crickets and one lone bird's chirping.
Even the wind is playful and fun tonight; not harsh or cold.

The sky is gradually changing to various hues of blue.
There is still a hint of pink on the horizon.
It hangs on till the last moment, I think it was hesitant to leave such a lovely scene.
It provided such a lovely backdrop for the little performance that is taking place.
Gradually little stars fade into view and the moon is big and bright and shines out from behind big clouds.

From where I sit I marvel at the sight that I see.
What a lovely little song and dance that is happening before my eyes.
I'm not sure I've ever enjoyed a concert as much as this one before. 
What a beautiful painting the sky is tonight.
Music and dancing and art surround me in perfect harmony. 

I was never so aware that I was living in it before tonight.
Nor had it occurred to me so strongly till now that nature could be so peacefully entertaining.
Do the fireflies and crickets and the lone bird know that they're performing?
In this moment I think they outshine any dancer, musician or artist 
As they go about their business so humbly unaware of their beauty and talent....of themselves.

Their existence points back to their Maker...the one who they live to sing and dance for.
God must love sunsets and musical birds and dancing fireflies and cool summer evenings
And He must enjoy putting on glorious concerts every night.
I praise God for inventing this world and for the gift of a front row seat to nature's performance tonight.
There is no one else in the universe that I could enjoy watching it with more than Him.


I hope in my life as I go about my daily business that I will be like the fireflies and the crickets and birds. That my life will point back to my Maker and show the world His love; His beauty; His glory.
I pray that I will be humble and not live for my own glory, but for His. After all, that's what I'm here for, right? Just like the rest of God's creation...to glorify God with my life. Tonight while watching the day become night I became aware that God didn't make the sun set so beautifully for me. He made all of this...all of us...for Himself. He just invited me to watch as He readied the earth for evening. It's sad that as a human I watch the rest of nature praise God so much more naturally and humbly than I do. I hate to admit that I'm proud; that I want others to think I'm talented or intelligent. Really, the most beautiful part of tonight is that I was so gently reminded that this life is not about me at all. My interests, talents, passions, interactions are only worthwhile and beautiful when they are used to glorify God.

knotted

Stuck...all tangled up.
Not physically, of course, just in my heart.
I wish I could cry it out.
Or, even better, laugh it off.
Or even just write it out.
But tears, laughter and words won't come.
Neither does creativity, nor peace of mind.
Where does one find immediate healing for a bruised heart? 
Even remembering good times brings no happiness...
just sadness at what is no more.
My mind feels dull and my hands feel stupid.
It blocks inspiration from motivating me to usefulness.
So instead I'll try to write a poem,
About my stuck frame of mind.
And laugh at my feeble attempt at somber, moody, soulful poetry.

That feels a little better.