Tuesday, September 23, 2014


A while back I came across my old bucket list. Surprisingly, I had checked off a few major ones...try ceramics? Check. In fact I devoted 4 years to studying and practicing it. Get an apartment? Check...I do like having my own place and having roommates. Travel to another country? Check! China was one of the most meaningful experiences of my life. Finish school? Check. And as far as thoughts of graduate school goes...think of Queen Elsa singing "Let It Go" when she sings, "I'm never going back...the past is in the paaaaaaaast!" I really was surprised at what I did because those things seemed so unattainable in some ways. It was nice to see that they happened.

Anyway, I'm feeling super old and dull lately. I work all the time, which isn't bad because I like working. But I don't play much. I'm not even sure I know how to anymore. So I think I need to set some new goals and dreams for myself. I've felt stuck in a rut recently wondering what I ultimately would like to see happen with my ceramics degree/skill. It's gotten me to think more about why I like ceramics, what I want for the future, and what do I hold important in life? I'm still thinking about this...I'd love an "aha" moment, but I haven't had one yet. But to at least get started off right and to remember that I am young and I should take time to enjoy my youth and the world around me I've set some small goals:

Dance more.
Make more art.
Claim space.
Learn to be vulnerable.
Read books.
If an opportunity arises to snuggle a baby or a puppy...take it.
Spend time outside.
Write more.
Try new things.
Plan a big trip.

I have a lot more I want to plan out. I want to set goals and dream dreams. I think that's a bit of what's making me feel so old and down...sort of like whatever things are like now is how I can always expect them to be. I don't feel like I'm able to learn new things or do something adventurous because I've sort of set a course for myself. But I am not very happy at this prospect. I want to break out of that rut and be optimistic and feel young...like there are possibilities for myself.

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