Sick.

 

Source: joybridy.files.wordpress.com via Grace on Pinterest

Sometimes a cup of tea makes things so much more bearable.

Friend.

Last year I made some pots and fired them and decided I didn't like them. So I threw them away. One day I came downstairs to the studio and one of my friends who was a grad student told me that he had something to show me that he was really excited about. So a little while later he came out from where the kilns are located carrying this pot that he had just taken from a kiln. It was one of the ones I had thrown away. He added color and the gold luster to it and wrote this little note on the bottom. It kind of made my day. I still think the cup was not good, but his positive and encouraging attitude meant a lot. And it made me remember to have fun with this career path. I got into ceramics because I loved it and could not imagine not knowing more about it, not because I was ever great at it. Making art is so personal because you put yourself into it. Even if you don't know what you're making, you put something of yourself into it...your ideas, your skills, and it makes you vulnerable. So although critiques are necessary and helpful (and usually hugely inspiring) sometimes you will have a critique that makes you feel terribly low and like you are a failure. It is tough. It is different from anything else I have studied.

In the past three weeks I got some less-than-encouraging feedback from my professors that made me feel so upset about the quality of work I was making and really insecure in my abilities and career decisions. Even though I have tried really hard it just seems like I am not where I want to be or need to be in this process and the fact that graduation is one academic year away makes me really worried. It shakes my confidence and makes me feel like although I gave so much of myself to my schooling these past years it just was never enough and I feel like I did something wrong. I found this little cup while I was cleaning out my cabinet today and it encouraged me a bit. My work is not garbage. My ideas are not garbage. I don't need to be ashamed of the work I make as long as I am trying. I am learning and I keep making progress. Learning can and will continue once I finish school. I am trying to ease off on the pressure and it is difficult, but little reminders like this help me relax and try to keep enjoying what I do.

I'm thankful for the friend who took time out of his day to be an encouragement. Not only in this situation, but in many. I would say that he taught me more about making art and enjoying what you do than any teacher I have had. Art is hard. It makes you vulnerable. It brings you pretty low. But there is a lot of fun and joy in making work. And you have to own what you make and learn to like it while you are on your way to becoming the artist you want to be. I'm trying to recapture that enthusiasm and passion for playing with clay that I had when I first started. And I want to be the kind of person who helps and encourages others along the way.

So thank you, friend. For your help, advice, encouragement, and example.

John 6:67-69

"You do not want to leave too, do you?" Jesus asked the twelve. Simon Peter answered him, "Lord, to whom shall we go? You have the words of eternal life. We believe and know that you are the Holy One of God."

 
 Sometimes you doubt. Or at least sometimes I do. But when I doubt my faith this verse comes to mind. Where else do I turn? Who else do I go to? If God isn't real and Jesus isn't God, then there is nothing else. I know He has the words of eternal life and I know He is God. So He keeps me. I don't stay by my strength; God keeps me by His. 

I love this print...

                                                                      Source: brilliantlights.tumblr.com via Wun Ling on Pinterest

Just some works in progress

Ugh...I am so wiped out. I have a huge bruise on my right arm from where I rubbed my arm while it was cramping. There is now a knot in the bruise. Weird. It's because I've been working on new stuff...like these pots. It's also because I had a 3 month summer break from ceramics and this type of labor so now my body doesn't like 12 hour school days anymore. I need to give myself a pep talk and tell myself to buckle down and prepare for hard labor. I also need to take a tylenol for my super sore muscles and go to bed. :)

Lately I've been thinking about why I love to use handmade items. Why would I prefer a handmade object to a manufactured item? Well, as far as I can tell, I think a few reasons are:
a) they are imperfect, unique and individual...just like us.
b) they have a story. they tell us something about their maker and they tell us something about us. it creates a shared connection between aesthetics and styles and perhaps emotions evoked by an object between makers and consumers. the added idea that another person thoughtfully handcrafted it makes it more personal. it becomes a shared experience and makes us feel like we are part of a community.
c) i personally find that using handmade items turns daily life into more of a ceremony than a routine. using a dish made by a friend or cuddling up with a blanket made by your mom or grandma brings about more memories or daily reflections than streamlined manufactured products. looking around to see items with memories or meanings makes me feel a bit like i'm living more consciously or intentionally.

Those are some reasons I like handmade objects. I realize these are inanimate objects and ultimately they exist to serve a purpose...to be used. As long as they work they are all essentially equal. When I was younger I was obsessed with Laura Ingalls Wilder and the idea of traveling in a covered wagon. If I had to put all my belongings in a wagon and pick between handmade quilts and dishes or store bought quilts and dishes then I am almost certain I would pick the handmade objects. Because of the nostalgia, personal connection to the maker, and the feeling of home that they more readily evoke. So while in the end a cup is just a cup, there is still something special about handmade objects that draws many people in and makes them want to share in whatever makes them special.

Does anyone else feel that way or have a certain object (handmade or factory manufactured) that they prefer to any other?

A prayer

Tea and Sympathy

Tea and chocolate...the ultimate comfort food/drink. Even on the stickiest, most humid of days (like today) there is nothing quite like a cup of tea and a quiet moment to chill out. And any or every time of the day is the perfect time for chocolate, in my opinion.