Crush

I thought of you today.
I frequently find myself thinking of you.
The littlest things remind me of you...
Scents, sounds, conversations, even the weather.
Sometimes when I see something lovely I remember you.
And wish you were with me to share it...
Because I know you would appreciate it as much as I do.
And I wonder what you are doing.
And whether you ever think of me anymore.
Or if you ever really thought about me to begin with.
These days, it doesn't usually make me sad.
But sometimes there is a tiny pang of sadness.
That tiny voice in my head that says, "what if..."
What if things had been different?
Best not to dwell on that...things are as they are.
However, you left an impression on me...
You taught me to notice the blessings in my life...
And to see the beauty that is all around me.
I will always be different because we met.
I like to think of you out there living life to the fullest.
I truly hope you are happy.
But I hope more for you than mere happiness.
I wish for you to have true life.
Abundant life. Everlasting joy.
You know, I never meant to care about you
My heart never asked me for permission.
It took me completely by surprise.
Funny how the heart picks its objects of affection...
(That sounds just like something you would say)
*They* say: It's a beautiful thing when you love someone.
*I* say, to love someone can be one of the most painful decisions we make.
But do we have any other choice?